Ever set a big goal, made an amazing plan, and then somehow managed to do everything but follow through? Whether it’s skipping the gym for the third time this week or deciding to binge on snacks after a stressful day, we’ve all been there. Welcome to the world of self sabotage—the sneaky habit of standing in our own way, even when we know what we should be doing.

What is Self Sabotage?

In psychological terms, self sabotage occurs when our behaviours or thoughts actively work against our own goals. It’s the process of knowingly (or unknowingly) undermining our progress, often because of fear, low self esteem, or deep rooted beliefs about what we deserve. It’s like setting off on a road trip but purposefully driving in the wrong direction.

One minute, you’re feeling motivated, telling yourself, "I can do this!" The next, you’ve skipped a workout, eaten an entire tub of ice cream, and are now curled up with feelings of guilt and frustration. Sound familiar?

Why Do We Sabotage Ourselves?

Self sabotage often boils down to fear—fear of failure, fear of success, or fear of change. It’s rooted in the idea that if we don’t even try, we can’t fail, right? Wrong. By not giving ourselves a chance, we ensure that we stay stuck.

Here are some common reasons why we self sabotage:

1. Fear of failure: The idea of failing can be so terrifying that we’d rather not try at all. If we never start, we never risk failure, right? This mindset might keep us safe, but it also keeps us stuck.
2. Fear of success: Success comes with responsibility. Sometimes, the thought of achieving our goals can be scary because it brings new expectations or pressure. If we succeed, what will people expect from us next?
3. Low self worth: If we don’t truly believe we deserve success, we’ll find ways to sabotage it. This can come from deep rooted beliefs that we’re not "good enough" or don’t deserve happiness.
4. Comfort zone: Change is hard, even if it’s positive. Sticking with the familiar, even when it’s not good for us, feels safe. Self sabotage helps us stay in that comfort zone where things are predictable.

How to Overcome Self Sabotage

Overcoming self sabotage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about awareness, self compassion, and building new habits. Here’s how you can break the cycle:

1. Recognise Your Patterns

Before you can tackle self sabotage, you need to recognise when and how it shows up. Is it skipping the gym? Overeating when stressed? Procrastinating on important tasks? Once you identify your patterns, you can start to change them.

Psychology Tip: Journaling is a powerful tool here. Track when and why you engage in self sabotaging behaviours. What’s triggering you? How are you feeling in that moment?

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

A lot of self sabotage comes from our inner critic—the voice that tells us we’re not good enough or that we’ll fail. The key is to challenge these thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this thought based on fact or fear?” More often than not, it’s the latter.

Psychology Tip: Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) encourages you to replace negative thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. For example, if you think, “I’ll never succeed,” counter it with, “Success takes time and effort, but I’m on the right path.”

3. Set Realistic Goals

One common form of self sabotage is setting goals that are so big and unrealistic that failure is almost guaranteed. Start small. Break your goals down into manageable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way.

Psychology Tip: Use the SMART goal framework—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time bound. This helps you focus on practical, achievable steps rather than setting yourself up for failure.

4. Practice Self Compassion

When you slip up (because we all do), don’t beat yourself up. Practice self compassion instead. You’re human, and making mistakes is part of the journey. The key is to learn from those mistakes, not use them as excuses to give up.

Psychology Tip: Try a self compassion exercise. Imagine a friend came to you with the same problem. How would you talk to them? Now, talk to yourself in the same way. Be kind, not critical.

5. Create Accountability

Self sabotage thrives in isolation. When we don’t share our goals or progress with anyone, it’s easier to quit. Find an accountability partner or coach who can help keep you on track. Someone who can give you a nudge when you need it and celebrate your wins with you.

Psychology Tip: Research shows that accountability boosts your chances of success. Sharing your goals and progress increases motivation and reduces the likelihood of self sabotage.

Final Thoughts

Self sabotage is tricky, but it doesn’t have to rule your life. By recognising your patterns, challenging negative thoughts, and practising self compassion, you can break free from the cycle and start achieving your goals.

Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. You just need to keep moving forward—one step at a time. If you’re ready to break free from self sabotage and regain control of your health and happiness then this is exactly what we teach within my Mindful Gut Healing Method programme!

Learn More About How I Can Help You

Through my Mindful Gut Healing Method Programme by incorporating nutrition, mindset and behaviour change.

Learn more here:

https://www.klknutrition.com/gut-healing 

OR… book a call

Book a free Health and Wellness Consultation here, let’s have a chat!

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See you on the inside!

Katie Xo